I always find that final statistic unbelievable, and have often found myself checking it again, even though I know it is true and have found cause to use it several times. For how can it be true when it never seems to register in any newspaper or TV programme? How can it be true when it shines such a horrifying light on the society in which we live? And every now and again there is a court case or a particularly awful child death that stirs up a self-righteous media hate frenzy, as though this kind of evil was bizarre in the extreme. Whereas in fact, in the world we live in it is really quite common. 

In Newcastle, the jury will decide if a man has murdered three little girls, while here the Zero Tolerance campaign confronts the whole issue of sexual violence. When the guilty party is seen as an aberration the topic hits every headline, but when the guilt is widespread, and closer to home, we find it much harder to talk of. From flashing to rape, one third of all twelve year old girls will have experienced some form of sexual abuse.

Pop-songs and magazines are obsessed with romance, but rarely explain what a woman must expect when looking for love ("One in eleven women have been raped while on a date"). We are lost in confusion between love and sex, a confusion that can unfortunately lead to abuse being justified as affection.

As our media culture universalises titillation, it's perhaps inevitable that our relationships have difficulty in living up to the expectations. In fact, the emphasis we put on the sexual side of marriage may well be contributing to the demise of the institution, but considering the possible complications in human relations we do need a formal contract to protect all those involved.

And what of the very young, surrounded by the same sexual stimulation as ourselves, but told they must ignore it. Should we be surprised when children, far too young to legally marry, openly admit to having sexual relationships. If marriage is to have any relevance at all, should we not reconsider the age at which we allow such relationships to take place?

In another time or place, a girl or boy could marry younger. They didn't go to school till they were twenty, but worked in fields and factories, and loved like Romeo and Juliet. Teenagers and younger have always been sexually active, but nowadays we like to think of them as schoolchildren. So, though we live in a sea of sexual imagery, we try to ignore it in the presence of our kids.

Of course there are dangers that recognition of youthful sexuality will be used to justify abuse, but right now in the UK, every two or three days a child dies of abuse or neglect, so we must do something, and discussing it with our children might be as good a start as any.